The Great Indian "Secular" Tamasha

If you thought that the Mumbai blasts would have acted as wake-up call for the Government and the media , you couldn't be more wrong. While on one hand the government blunders along as if the blast was a freak cracker bursting accident and treat the issue with kids-gloves , on the other hand we have this wonderful media which is hell bent on providing us some excellent words of wisdom from such renowned security experts like the uncle of a serial kisser, a closet gay director of candy floss and that obonoxious booker winner who thinks she is a reincarnation of Karl Marx .

There has been till date no information and in-depth analysis on the modus operandi of these terrorists groups, how they can carry out such operation so easily, why the intelligence failed to give any warning sign, where are the terror modules located in the country, why is the government allowing such modules to carry on their activities . Its now common knowledge that numerous terror modules exist in Maharashtra but did any of the channels take this up. The manner and way this blast and the previous ones have been carried out speaks volumes of the infrastructure of the Islamic terrorists, I don't want to be diplomatic and say terrorism has no religion blah blah. Its clearly Islamic and nothing else. It seems amply clear that the government has all along turned a blind eye that theses terror groups which blend in so easily and also get local support.

Instead of giving us details / analysis on the terror modules , what the media has done is to make this whole issue a soap opera. The dumb anchors can be forgiven but why saddle the viewers with the Fabindia promoters like Kuldip Nayar and Nafisa Ali. What is the need to keep on cautioning about the fear of reprisals? It was very clear from the beginning that is not going to happen and I don't think it will happen in future. Everyone knows that the entire community is not resposible and the viewer doesn't need to be reminded of this everytime. Especially we don't need to be told this from morons like the drama queen who has no qualms about hobnobbing with Kashmiri separatists.

I am sure people like Teesta Setelvad, N. Ram and Barkha Dutt must be sorely disappointed to see the Shiv Sena so quiet. They must wanted them to react but unfortunately for them all the extremist Hindu groups were restrained. This woman Teesta Setavad is like tape which has got stuck, she is not able to see life beyond Modi and Gujarat. The Gujarat shelf life is fast reaching the expiry date and she needs to invent some new topics if she wants to stay in the limelight. If Modi dies today, I am quite sure this Teesta woman will commit suicide. There should be ban on this uncle of the serial kisser appearing on television and spouting his pearls of wisdoms. Everyone knows by now he has verbal diahorrea and needs treatment urgently . He is hilarious but please spare us the sight of this man in times of such tragedy . Everytime there is a bomb blast, we get to hear the same boring dialogues from the media about standing tall and united and showing restraint . When will the media take up issues about terror modules , the growth of Islamic extremism, Why a moderate anti-terror law POTA as repealed, what changes has it made by repealing it. Will we ever get answers for all this? Alas, I don't think ever.

Lets applaud the terrorists who indulged in such a monumental act and dress in chic fab india kurtas and participate in marches along with Nafisa Ali and Kuldip Nayar. Thus The Great Indian "Secular" Tamasha chugs along happily.

IBN's Horror Show

Lot of people ask me how so many News channels can survive and grow and is there any viewership for all the channels. The answer is simple the news channels have replaced the saas bahus serials as people are beginning to find more entertainment value in news channels than in the soaps. Nowadays the news has more drama , comedy, action than any other serial. IBN has added some horror to the list recently.

Channel 7 has a programme called "Criminal" at 10.30 pm weekdays and its a shocker. It is hosted by one woman reciting shayari . IBN sources tell me this woman was a soft porn actress and used to act in those Z-grade Ramsay horror movies in the 1990's. There are no words to describe the programme . It has to be seen to be believed. I was totally dumbstruck when I happened to watch it. Star News also has the same kind of programme called Criminal hosted by some guy who looks like he is on the run, but let me tell you the Star news one is an intellectual one compared to Channel 7. Its so spooky and unbelievable kind of programme and one is left speechless. I still cant fathom if the woman was for real and the way she raised her eyebrows is something extraordinary. After every sentence she would do some action with her thick eyebrows which will freak you out. I am now totally convinced any Thomas kutty or Gagandeep Kaur can get into IBN and host some rubbish in the name of programme. Only thing you have to do is to pay money to Mr. Sardesai. No wonder the tag line says"Whatever it takes" . Shame on you Rajdeep.

Yesterday after the Mumbai blasts , we again saw the same kind of news like leaders mouthing platitudes , all the leader condemning and mouthing the same old dialogues. Oh come on guys cut the crap out, How many times will you go on condemning and putting blame on LeT. Its so very convenient to blame and then sit and do nothing. Why doesn't the so-called ethical and secular news channels tell us what happened to the earlier bomb blasts and if anyone was caught and if so what has happened to the perpetrators. The best question in connection to the bomb blast goes to the drama queen but naturally . She asked the reporter in Khar," How is the mood among the people there" . What kind of question is this? Is this woman on drugs or has she lost her mental balance? . Another gem was when one dumb reporter called Geetanjali was reporting and Barkha said to her," Why don't you get some views from the people standing behind , I see a old man there" Then immediately this Geetanjali babe got hold of this old guy who was loitering around and asked him some really inane questions and when it was revealed that this old guy was passing time roaming around she started fumbling and was at a loss of words. This Geetanjali seems to be the fly-by-night reporter variety.

Next post as promised earlier on the horse with a flat nose.

The Iron Lady

I have found it very easy to get inside news about anchors/newscasters and reporters. The journalist community is so jealous of other's success that they are willing to talk and bitch about their friends very candidly. This time I was totally stumped when I started to gather information about the sports desk of NDTV . It has been really tough to penetrate the fortress of the department run by a woman who is called as the Iron Lady. For one, though people were willing to talk it was mostly idle gossip and those sort of information which was difficult to substantiate.

Another thing which took me totally by surprise was the amount of praise heaped upon Sonali Chander by the people working under her. Sonali is no doubt one of the very few woman sports journalists who really know what they are talking about. She does possess a very intelligent brain and also her knowledge about sports especially cricket is immense. There are other competent woman sports journos like Kadambari Murali and Mayanthi but we wont talk about them here since this is primarily a post on NDTV Sports desk. The main problem in the sports desk is the lack of second rung leadership. If tomorrow Sonali leaves (I don't see it happening in near future) I reckon the sports desk will become a rudderless boat. Apart from not building a second rung , Sonali is also guilty of throwing Sujata Padamanabhan out. Not many people are aware about the fracas between Sonali and Sujata. Sujata did have issues about the working style of her boss and found others in her department very mediocre. To her credit, Sujata is far better than the likes of Anasuya or Gaurika but she also was supposed to have an ego the size of a football stadium. It seems one day there was a major major argument between Sonali and Sujata which resulted in the latter walking out the same day. Anyway, let us go one by one the other people who work there and see how they fare in respect to their knowledge and presentation skills.

1. Anasuya Mathur - She is the droopy eyed waif like woman who thinks smiling costs money. When she joined she was so raw that she was totally at sea most of the times. Her knowledge was pretty average and her presentation skills were poor that she used to look petrified in front of camera. She has come a long way from there but still she is just about average overall. Whenever I see her, I get reminded of Himesh Reshamaiyya.

2. Nikhil Naz - He comes on in Hindi and English but is very poor in all aspects. He does not have the personality and the few times he has been asked to ask questions to some guest he tends to ask childish questions. He is said to be a total flirt and was supposedly interested in modeling at one point of time in his life. I am not sure he has the looks of a model but he sure is a total waste and a liability for the organisation.

3. Jaydeep Bhandarkar - I think he has a problem in his neck. The ways he moves his head is something amazing and I don't think any normal person can duplicate it. As for his skills are concerned he is better than the above two.

4. Rohan - Some one has to be taken to task for making this guy present sports news. He is an insult to journalists and totally useless in terms of anchoring or reporting. He is expressionless and I have not seen him finish one sentence without fumbling. The country's topmost detectives should be called to find one good thing about him. I am not sure if they will be able to unravel anything .

5. Gaurika Chopra - She is a protege of Sonali and tries to ape her in every single way. Be it hair style. Hair parting, mannerisms, Where to hit high pitch and low pitch, facial expressions and everything else. She is the perfect example of a sycophant and supreme example of a bad copy.

6. Afsha Anjum - She is the typical girly girl types who likes candy floss, pink color and Karan Johar movies. She needs an excuse to giggle and looks completely lost when she hosts the hindi version of Cricket controversies. She lets Sidhu go on and on and the only time she interrupts is to announce a break. May be Sonali should give her some lessons on how to handle Sidhu. Her sports knowledge is as much as any other layman.

There are others too but they are not worth mentioning here. If you guys have any more inside news on the sports desk , feel free to mail me.

Next post on the Horse with a flat nose.